10 Tips For Resisting Dating a Co-Worker When You’re Married

When two people begin their life together as a married couple, no one can predict what will happen. Of course, at that certain point, all the couple wishes to have is a happy family life. The last thing that would enter their minds is a marriage that will end up falling apart. There are a number of reasons why a marriage can fall apart and many do fall apart because either the husband or the wife has an affair. It takes a few months or years for the “Honeymoon Stage” to fade away, but when reality starts to sink in, people often give up instead of trying, thinking they might be happier with someone else.

Avoid Temptation

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“Learn to keep those temptations in check”

When the marriage is on the rocks, neither of you should make it worse by hurting the other on purpose. All relationships go through issues, but it is a matter of getting through it together. Having a relationship outside the marriage is definitely not the solution. Sometimes, having a relationship with a co-worker is tempting, especially when you spend time with that person outside the house. You can talk to that person about your problems and home and she would gladly be there to listen and give comforting words of wisdom. Before you know it, feelings begin to develop. One article on married dating advice stated that starting a friendship with the opposite sex can be toxic, so before it blossoms, avoid it.

Physical Attraction will Fade

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“Trick your mind to lose the fatal physical attraction”

If you feel yourself physically attracted to your co-worker, imagine what it would be like if he or she was 30 years older or 20 pounds heavier. Physical attraction will fade away when a relationship ages. Real unconditional love takes a lot of time and effort to nourish, so never conclude that this attraction will last for long. Establish your boundaries at all times. Make a list of the person’s annoying habits like smoking perhaps or biting nails and on another paper, list down the things that you love the most about your partner. Look at the positive and negative list several times a day and this will make you weigh things and value the relationship you have with your partner. Also reminisce the days you met and the best times of your relationship. What made you fall in love with him or her? What draws you closer together? You will soon realize that true love goes beyond physical attraction.

Appreciation, Not Apathy

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“Be appreciate but don’t go overboard”

Promising each other “till death do us part” does not mean throwing the marriage into the garbage bin when things start to go wrong. Do not throw in the towel when it’s about appreciating your partner. Get some married dating tips and play safe. It’s important to seek some married dating advice and follow the married dating manual to make sure that you don’t screw things up. Always try to keep things interesting because complacency invites apathy that can take that special bond you have for granted. Being taken for granted can result to the person seeking that value elsewhere. One of the smartest things a married couple can do is internalize the perspective that their relationship can end at any time. This can actually cultivate gratitude and appreciation which will inspire a healthy urgency to show our partner how much we care. Every morning let’s ask ourselves “Why do I value my partner? What is the one thing that I can do to show my spouse how much he/she is valued?” A simple complement can go a long way. At work, sending her a brief e-mail or text message to let her know she was thought of can also do the trick.

Support Each Other’s Circle of Friends

The male friendship, believe it or not, can actually reduce the temptation of infidelity. Although men speak the same language, they don’t always talk about relationships which mean they have a smaller vocabulary for that type of thing. Women can protect their marriage by supporting their husband’s circle of friends. This compensates the vacuum of intimacy which some men seek out with inappropriate affairs.

The Dark Side

Carl Jung, a pioneering psychiatrist, believed that delving into a person’s dark side instead of fleeing from it like what most people do holds great potential in assisting people attain wholeness. This same idea can also be applied to marriage or relationships. The areas we avoid going to or the shadow sides of a relationship are often what will push a husband or wife to seek a corrective outside it. An example of this would be different views towards religion. If this has been an issue with your relationship, one of you might go off to find someone who shared the same beliefs as you thinking it would be a lot easier that way. Instead of doing such, both of you must address those qualities that causes polarization. Note the ones that cause both of you the most resentment. Identifying these will allow both of you as an individual to balance yourself and at the same time, freeing your partner from eliminating the dependencies that can possibly hinder the wholeness of your union.

Talk is Good but Action is Better

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“Take action before it’s too late”

Women like talking things out all the time and this is a wise thing to do except when that’s all a woman ever does. Men hate it when a woman nags. Instead of talking too much, do something you both love. It is a powerful reminder of the bond you have and can reignite the reasons why you have chosen one another. Make a connection happen if there have been some changes in the relationship lately. If having children makes you spend less time together, always find time for each other no matter how short it may be. If problems at work are getting the best out of one of you, look to each other for guidance and support and do not turn to anyone else. You should be one another’s best friend.

No Subject Should Be out of Bounds

Having a confidante is a man’s chief temptation. Studies on men who have cheated on their wives with a co-worker were asked why they did it and many replied that the third party was “someone who really gets him.” The novelty of being able to talk about topics which can cause marital tension is difficult to resist. Off-limits subjects in your relationship shouldn’t exactly be avoided, but it is best to talk about it during the right time. Since you are a couple, it wouldn’t hurt to one another what you think of your sex life together or what do you both like in your marriage that you don’t already have. Always let each other know you are each other’s confidante.

Seeking Help

Thinking you are on your own battle is something that you shouldn’t do. If you are faced with temptation in the office, reach out to a family member. This can be a powerful solution providing that they are caring, understanding, and ready to help. You can also talk to your minister of faith who can enlighten you on the best thing to do.

Grow Together

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“Growth of two individuals is never similar”

Just because you have been together for several years does not mean you have developed at the same pace. Sylvia Lafair, a psychologist, says that couples have not helped each other grow up in many cases if infidelity. Meeting goals together with your partner is one easy way to mature. If you have lived in the same house for decades, why not have a vacation? You may both be tired of doing the same housework every weekend so starting something new or different is best.

Marriage as Top Priority

Make your marriage the top priority in your life. Regularly tell him or her how you feel and shower each other with good deeds, hugs, and kisses. Finding the comfort and happiness with your spouse will help you avoid looking for someone else outside your God-given relationship. Many experts in married dating advice say loving one another as well as your children, if you have any, is the closest thing to avoid chances of cheating.

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Top 10 Rules to Have a Successful Fling

“Learn the basics of fling dating”

“Learn the basics of fling dating”

What do College students, up and coming young professionals, the recently and not so recently divorced and sex addicts have in common? At one point or another in their lives, this demographic indulged in a fling or one night stand. The chances of a fling is not specific to this group and there are reported cases of senior citizens who are comfortable with this arrangement, but nevertheless, the chances of indulging in a one night stand or casual romance are common to this group probably due to their strong sex drive and emotional needs.

“They don’t care what the society thinks”

“They don’t care what the society thinks”

A fling is a casual relationship between two people which involves a sexual or nearly sexual relationship without the necessary expectations of commitment normally present in a formal romantic relationship. In the beginning, this arrangement will appear convenient. It’s all the benefits of a relationship less the drama. Most people commit the mistake of not knowing the rules of a fling and start committing one blunder after another. They don’t understand the simple terms of having a fling. All they have to do is, find a fling online, from the sites mentioned at flingsitesguide.com and after choosing the right site choose the right fling strategy to woo the other person and get down to business. But, they don’t follow the strategy correctly and complicate a rather simple arrangement of friends with benefits.

The result: when one of you shows up to a party with an official date in tow, the other busts a spleen.

“Keep your life on track and manage your affair discreetly”

“Keep your life on track and manage your affair discreetly”

To avoid this rather messy state of affairs, here are 10 suggestions to keep your life on track while playing with your not so main squeeze.

1. Set the ground rules early on. – The rules are there to ensure that a fling remains a casual entanglement. If a fling gets out of hand, or in the case of a cheating spouse discovered, you will know how to plan your eventual damage control. Set the parameters of your meeting, the manner of how you communicate with each other; how often and who gets to know about your little tete-a-tete. Understanding the transient nature of the relationship will help both of you from blurring the boundaries of the relationship; keeping it strictly within limits; and, avoiding unnecessary consequences.
2. Do it for the right reasons. – If you’re not ready for a real relationship or haven’t found the one, it’s ok to fool around. Flings can add spice to your life. For those who have just had a divorce, a fling can help them get their groove back so they can once again find their way to looking for love. If you’re married and seeking to address a deficiency in your marriage, be specific about your reasons why you want to cheat and address them. Cheating carries with some serious consequences that is difficult to hide and more difficult to deal with.

3. Pick an appropriate partner. – A fling does not necessarily have to be marriage material. This person can just be someone you can have fun with-for the time being. If you’re married or in a committed relationship and you want to engage in a fling, it would be advisable to look for someone who shares your concerns for privacy and safety. If you happen to hook up with someone who doesn’t understand the rules of a fling, they could start misbehaving to blackmail you. How to have flings successfully means getting to hook up with someone who doesn’t expect much from the relationship other than having a good time.

4. Practice safety and communicate the rules. – In the event that your fling starts insinuating that he or she wants something more, gently remind your fling of your arrangement. People who romanticize a fling, may find themselves compelled to continue the relationship or will always find a way to reconnect. Although flings are temporary, their effects linger. Always, always remember to practice safe sex. A fling can create a memorable encounter provided it doesn’t result to STD or unwanted pregnancy.

5. Do not introduce your fling to your family and close friends. – Your fling has been just a passing fancy. Your conversation is normally horizontal and you’re not in it for the long haul. Introducing your fling to your family and close friends gives the fling an official status and you will have to reflect a lot of awkward questions that you may not be prepared to answer. If you’re recently divorced and have custody of your kids, do not introduce your fling to your kids. Children easily get attached and when you and your fling need to call it quits, your children could easily get affected.

6. Mind your bedside manners. – Too much compatibility with your fling can sometimes blur the lines between friends with benefits and friends in love. If your fling attempts to cuddle and start the conversation after sex, you might want to stop and put the brakes on. Cuddling and conversation can create a bond between both of you where emotions can spill over. Unless you’re willing to bring it to the next level, it would be wise to observe some distance in the bedroom.

7. No gifts or mementos. – Do not give expensive gifts. If you’re having an affair, the best way for your spouse to discover that you cheated is for him or her to find questionable transactions reflected on your credit card and bank statements. Moreover, when the affair ends on a bad note, you wouldn’t want to be reminded of it with expensive gifts your fling gave you. Although its quid pro quo, you might have to deal with a fling who demands their gift back and you would have to put up with having to deal with him thinking you were in the relationship for what he could give you.

8. Fling partners should not be placed in contact information. – Your fling partner is not your official partner unless both of you decide for the record that you want to be more than friends with benefits. Contact information is important because should you meet an accident and be rendered unconscious, the person you have declared in your contact information will be contacted and considered as next of kin. If you are married, this will raise a lot of questions you may not be prepared to answer. If you’re single, would you be comfortable to place yourself in the hands of someone you never really took the time to get to know?

“Stop before you start falling for the other person”

“Stop before you start falling for the other person”

9. Know what to do when feelings develop. – The problem with flings is the presence of emotions. Unless both partners are aware and willing to keep the boundaries clear, too much time spent together will result in a bond between them. That is why there are times when friends with benefits eventually transition into a committed relationship. When that happens, ask your partner out officially. Both of you will be happy that you took the step to being officially together. If the person you’re having a fling with is married, it’s time to consider leaving the affair or declare a cooling off period

10. Know when to leave. – When you and your fling always find yourself disagreeing over little things; fighting instead of enjoying each other’s company; or worse, your attention has been caught by someone else, your relationship has run its course and it’s time to move on. A fling is just a temporary arrangement. Individuals who are immensely drawn to one another and share their intimacy in a physical way will eventually get bored with the arrangement, especially if the fling is supposed to be a secret affair. Although insignificant and fun, they are nevertheless fleeting. Enjoy it while it lasts and when it ends, move on.

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Shows: My Top 3 TV Shows This Year

I am a great big fan of reality television shows, may be it is because they are usually filled with lots of drama – no one gives you a script to follow, you get to pretty much say what you want to say without the worry of finding out if you missed a line. There are so many reality TV shows on air now, which gives us viewers a wide choice. Well, there are some reality TV shows that I just prefer to stick to.

Here are my TOP 3 TV shows for this year:

  1. Dancing with the Stars

Yup, I am feeling the show, Dancing with the Stars! I love the fact that celebrities are paired up with dancers and get to strut their stuff on the dance floor, the best part is that we (the viewers) get to choose which Star did well on the dance and which one needs to be sent right back home! Some celebrities are stiff when it comes to dancing to save their lives, while some have the dancing chip installed in them from the womb! Some of my favorite celebrities on Dancing with the Stars are Marie Osmond, Donny Osmond and Mel B (Mel is awesome on the dance floor!)

Dancing With the Stars Winner

Dancing With the Stars Winner

  1. America’s Got Talent

What is not to love about this show?! This show offers Americans (both young and mature) the opportunity to showcase their talent and get the chance to win fantastic prizes that could change their lives forever! Okay, some contestants on the show have very weird talents and some have talents that should not be shared with the rest of the country! I usually love watching the auditions – this is where you are guaranteed pure laughs. There was a time I laughed that tears rolled down my eyes, some contestants should be comedians instead or trying to be the next Beyonce.

Follow America's Got Talent

Follow America’s Got Talent

  1. The Bachelorette

One of the things I love about The Bachelorette is that it offers viewers the opportunity to see how women make their choices when it comes to choosing the right man to spend the rest of her life with. Okay, let’s face it, the entire concept of the show may seem pretty lame to a lot of people – c’mon the girl shares hugs and kisses with a dozen men and has to pick one at the end of the show. Well, not everyone is interested in watching other make a mockery of the courting process but, this show gets thumbs up from me.

My top 3 picks may not be what a lot of people would respect, but I really enjoy watching these shows and getting my laughs.

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What do Women really care about?

You’d think that a fancy car and a fat wallet is what women really want. You could not be more wrong. Although, it is attractive to be financially dependent, it is not the only thing. You need to understand that women are much more complex than men. They do not want you to pay for their dinners or buy them expensive things. They are not just looking for a good time. For them, sex is not important but a relationship is. This is why when you are dating; you need to bring to the table a lot more than just a huge bank account. Women will not care for your riches if you turn out to have no sense of humor, good habits and manners. So here’s a list of things that your female date would want and expect from you:


1. Chivalry: No it is not dead. On the contrary, it is needed and demanded even more in these days. It is not about protecting her. Women can protect themselves. But it is giving them the support and sense of security that men and women both like. So don’t make her feel like she is a damsel in distress but be her knight in shining armor instead.

2. Taking the lead: Always make the first move. These things are hard for women especially on first dates. It is not easy to put yourself out there and it is doubly hard for women. So don’t hesitate and act according to the situation.

Attract Women: Be Honest

Attract Women: Be Honest

3. Confidence: this is possibly the most attractive quality of a man that a woman looks for. It is important that no matter what you do, you do it with confidence. Even making mistakes are fine but to confidently accept and rectify is what is most appealing to women.

4. Asserting your voice: This is important. No woman likes a groveling man. It is necessary to have an opinion and intelligently conversing as equals. You cannot talk down or talk up to a woman. Always talk to her in your own assertive voice.

Want To Be Attractive?

Want To Be Attractive?

5. Communication: Do not zone out but listen to her. Nothing is more attractive and endearing than a good listener. Women yearn to have a man who listens to her the way she listens to him. Develop proper skills for communication and listen and respond the way she deserves.

 

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Dealing with a death in the family

Though we know that death is inevitable, when a member of the family dies we plunge into grief. The pain of a departure for ever is certainly severe. Words of consolation from others may have some soothing effect. Still, memories of the past keeps on making us feel uncomfortable. However, the fact is that one member of the family is no more. No one can forget those who passed away but, everyone has to move forward. First and foremost, we have to come out of the grief and fulfill the legal as well as religious formalities that are to be carried out following the demise of someone.

As mentioned before death is inevitable. It’s something that everyone has to face one day or the other. While there are a few that take up the responsibility of the family and try to overcome their grief given to all those things they have to take care of. Yet there are others who get into a phase of depression and give in to many addictions like smoking, drinking, taking drugs and so on. It’s understood that the void that has been created by your beloved is something that can’t be filled so easily but is it really not advisable to put your life at stake? So you think the other members of your family (may be your children or your parents or spouse) is happy looking at you in such a condition? Definitely not. Understand that you are giving them equal pain as you are undergoing, if not less.

While dealing with their own

While dealing with their own

 

Ask yourself a question and that is, if the person whom you have lost sees you in this condition would they be happy? What would they want you to do? How would they want you to be? Or let’s look at it this way, if they were in your place would you want them to brood and grieve and just get rid of their life? I’m sure you wouldn’t want them to spoil their life; rather you would want them to lead a happy life. In the same way even you would have to lead a life that would make them proud. While it’s understood that you can’t forget them, so keep them in your memories. Cherish the good times spent with them and live a life they always wanted you to live.

 

Apart from this if you would want to do something for them. If you want to honor them, then live their dreams. You would definitely know what they wanted from their life; try to fulfill those dreams and desires. This will not only help you overcome the pain of losing them but will also leave a good lasting memory regarding them that could be cherished throughout.

Lesson: Dealing With the Death

Lesson: Dealing With the Death

 

Remember death is just a physical departure of that person. They soul is still alive and it wouldn’t die. So embrace their memories, live their dreams and make them happy. Let their death not be a cause for your destruction. They would have never wanted to be a cause for your downfall. Carry their heart in your heart and make them live there forever.

 

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Cars: Differences between leasing and buying

If you are shopping for a car, you may have a lot of ideas about the brand, model and color. In addition, you should also consider the way you make payment for the car. You can take a loan, but it requires you to pay $600 per month. However, the same model vehicle can be leased for around $150 less than paying car loan every month. The main advantage of leasing the car is cash flow. Nevertheless, you need to remember that you have to make a monthly payment. Hence, before making a decision, it is worth to consider the differences between leasing and buying cars.


If you buy a car, you need not have all the cash to pay for it. You can finance it by taking a loan. If the price of the car is $25,000, you will need to take out for around $20,000 or more. Then you will need to pay interest for the loan amount borrowed. Leasing a car requires you to pay the amount the car will decrease in value over the period of lease. For instance, the estimated market value of the car is $10,000 in three years based on normal depreciation rate, and then you will need to finance the acquisition price and the remaining value. Leasing the car value of $15,000 will require you to make a monthly payment that is lower than taking a loan for $25,000 even with the shorter term of lease. This is the main reason for why leasing a car is better than buying it.

Another important difference between leasing and buying a car is the former method allows getting the benefit of upgrade. Lease is generally for 2, 3 or 4 years. The cars are fully covered by warranties, so you will not face any problem in driving it. When the lease term is over, you can get to deal in your car for the most recent model. If you take out a loan for five years to buy a car, your monthly payments will stop at the end of five years, but it will be a period before achieving the breakeven point.

 Leasing vs Buying a Car

Leasing vs Buying a Car

 

It is important to consider the amount you need to pay every month and the duration of payment while considering whether to buy or lease a car. Over long period of time, there will be some major maintenance needs, so you should take them into consideration for making the calculation. However, if you are a responsible driver who makes it a habit to service the car regularly, you can take a confident decision of buying a car. With leasing, you will need to make a lower monthly payment and will have peace of mind. You will also have fewer concerns about reliability. With purchase, you need to commit to routine maintenance and control your urge to upgrade to the latest version frequently. 

Lease or buy luxury car- you

Lease or buy luxury car- you

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iPad: 3 must have financial apps

One of the best ways in which you can keep track of your finances, whether at home or for your business is to use a mobile application. This is very beneficial else you’ll be stuck trying to file those receipts which are most likely going to get lost. Good thing is there are several financial apps available on the iTunes App Store. With these apps, you can carry out an array of financial activities that range from replacing your traditional checkbook to enabling you keep track of every dime you spend. A good number of these can be downloaded for free, but some will cost you a bit. Below are 3 top financial apps to get or your iPad.


Checkbook HD

Checkbook HD is certainly one app to get, and it lives to its name. This app is the equivalence of your checkbook register which handles OFX imports that is if you are already making use of a compatible app. It’s quite easy to use and all you’ll need to do is create an account and move on from there.

There are tabs on the right end of the screen, and these move you from the basic register to periodic transactions whilst pie charts and line graphs help keep track on your money. There are icons below that help you set up a PIN code in order to secure your data. You can set up HTML or CSV exports via email or Wi-Fi, then access the application’s help file, synchronize it with other iOS devices. You can use this app on both iPhone and iPad, but it will cost you 99c.

Checkbook HD. iOS Universal

Checkbook HD. iOS Universal

Expensify

Expensify is the ideal gadget for corporate veterans. Upon signing up and creating a free account you will enter your credit card information and have Expensify download all your credit expenses. These can then be the categorized, and for each transaction worth over $75 you’ll get an e-receipt. With an iPad you can even take photos of your paper receipts from each transaction. You can go through and select your relevant transactions that is if you want to create a report. The app will do everything for you. Upon completion you can choose to email a detailed report with your spending and expenditure summary to any recipient.

The Best Financial iPhone Apps

The Best Financial iPhone Apps

HomeBudget

This app was specifically designed and developed to help you keep track of all your money. This means that you get to keep track by knowing where your money is going so as to ensure that your budget is always on check. You can tap to enter your expense, bills, accounts, budget, reports, payees and search, and the app will do it all for you. This app will cost you $2.99

 

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