When the marriage is on the rocks, neither of you should make it worse by hurting the other on purpose. All relationships go through issues, but it is a matter of getting through it together. Having a relationship outside the marriage is definitely not the solution. Sometimes, having a relationship with a co-worker is tempting, especially when you spend time with that person outside the house. You can talk to that person about your problems and home and she would gladly be there to listen and give comforting words of wisdom. Before you know it, feelings begin to develop. One article on married dating advice stated that starting a friendship with the opposite sex can be toxic, so before it blossoms, avoid it.
Physical Attraction will Fade
If you feel yourself physically attracted to your co-worker, imagine what it would be like if he or she was 30 years older or 20 pounds heavier. Physical attraction will fade away when a relationship ages. Real unconditional love takes a lot of time and effort to nourish, so never conclude that this attraction will last for long. Establish your boundaries at all times. Make a list of the person’s annoying habits like smoking perhaps or biting nails and on another paper, list down the things that you love the most about your partner. Look at the positive and negative list several times a day and this will make you weigh things and value the relationship you have with your partner. Also reminisce the days you met and the best times of your relationship. What made you fall in love with him or her? What draws you closer together? You will soon realize that true love goes beyond physical attraction.
Appreciation, Not Apathy
Promising each other “till death do us part” does not mean throwing the marriage into the garbage bin when things start to go wrong. Do not throw in the towel when it’s about appreciating your partner. Get some married dating tips and play safe. It’s important to seek some married dating advice and follow the married dating manual to make sure that you don’t screw things up. Always try to keep things interesting because complacency invites apathy that can take that special bond you have for granted. Being taken for granted can result to the person seeking that value elsewhere. One of the smartest things a married couple can do is internalize the perspective that their relationship can end at any time. This can actually cultivate gratitude and appreciation which will inspire a healthy urgency to show our partner how much we care. Every morning let’s ask ourselves “Why do I value my partner? What is the one thing that I can do to show my spouse how much he/she is valued?” A simple complement can go a long way. At work, sending her a brief e-mail or text message to let her know she was thought of can also do the trick.
Support Each Other’s Circle of Friends
The male friendship, believe it or not, can actually reduce the temptation of infidelity. Although men speak the same language, they don’t always talk about relationships which mean they have a smaller vocabulary for that type of thing. Women can protect their marriage by supporting their husband’s circle of friends. This compensates the vacuum of intimacy which some men seek out with inappropriate affairs.
The Dark Side
Carl Jung, a pioneering psychiatrist, believed that delving into a person’s dark side instead of fleeing from it like what most people do holds great potential in assisting people attain wholeness. This same idea can also be applied to marriage or relationships. The areas we avoid going to or the shadow sides of a relationship are often what will push a husband or wife to seek a corrective outside it. An example of this would be different views towards religion. If this has been an issue with your relationship, one of you might go off to find someone who shared the same beliefs as you thinking it would be a lot easier that way. Instead of doing such, both of you must address those qualities that causes polarization. Note the ones that cause both of you the most resentment. Identifying these will allow both of you as an individual to balance yourself and at the same time, freeing your partner from eliminating the dependencies that can possibly hinder the wholeness of your union.
Talk is Good but Action is Better
Women like talking things out all the time and this is a wise thing to do except when that’s all a woman ever does. Men hate it when a woman nags. Instead of talking too much, do something you both love. It is a powerful reminder of the bond you have and can reignite the reasons why you have chosen one another. Make a connection happen if there have been some changes in the relationship lately. If having children makes you spend less time together, always find time for each other no matter how short it may be. If problems at work are getting the best out of one of you, look to each other for guidance and support and do not turn to anyone else. You should be one another’s best friend.
No Subject Should Be out of Bounds
Having a confidante is a man’s chief temptation. Studies on men who have cheated on their wives with a co-worker were asked why they did it and many replied that the third party was “someone who really gets him.” The novelty of being able to talk about topics which can cause marital tension is difficult to resist. Off-limits subjects in your relationship shouldn’t exactly be avoided, but it is best to talk about it during the right time. Since you are a couple, it wouldn’t hurt to one another what you think of your sex life together or what do you both like in your marriage that you don’t already have. Always let each other know you are each other’s confidante.
Thinking you are on your own battle is something that you shouldn’t do. If you are faced with temptation in the office, reach out to a family member. This can be a powerful solution providing that they are caring, understanding, and ready to help. You can also talk to your minister of faith who can enlighten you on the best thing to do.
Just because you have been together for several years does not mean you have developed at the same pace. Sylvia Lafair, a psychologist, says that couples have not helped each other grow up in many cases if infidelity. Meeting goals together with your partner is one easy way to mature. If you have lived in the same house for decades, why not have a vacation? You may both be tired of doing the same housework every weekend so starting something new or different is best.
Marriage as Top Priority
Make your marriage the top priority in your life. Regularly tell him or her how you feel and shower each other with good deeds, hugs, and kisses. Finding the comfort and happiness with your spouse will help you avoid looking for someone else outside your God-given relationship. Many experts in married dating advice say loving one another as well as your children, if you have any, is the closest thing to avoid chances of cheating.